—then I will.
Hello, this is Gael Vendaval, giving the airborne update to all crewmates within Capitan Saris’ fleet.
We are well upon our way to taming Isla de Ojos Vacios. While it true that the one-eyed monsters are more stubborn than we initially thought, Capitanita Cuni has proven adept at wrestling them down.
The Capitan Saris’ first mate (in more ways than one) Vini and I, the stunningly attractive Gael, have introduced a pair of very sexy fish men to the bay here. None of you are to harm a scale on the Locathah’s perfectly-sculpted abs. They are checking to see if the island is a suitable ground for the rest of their colony. I, for one, welcome our fish-headed tidal lords.
We’ve also explored a good portion of the island. Mi amigo, Senor Mankery, the gigantic vine man, is the caretaker of the eastern forests on this island, and has warned us to steer clear of the rise in the center of the forest (it is home to coconut treefolk) and to, under no circumstances, ever enter the mangrove swamps on the northeastern part of the island. I make it a habit to always listen when a giant, smoking elemental gives me advice.
We are on our way to disable the cyclopses’ docks. They have a few fishing boats, and we are hoping to cut their food supply, weakening them before we start to pick them them off.
What am I forgetting? …. ¡Ay, that is it! There is also a very sensual water fae on the eastern curve of the island. Her song is enticing, her body beautiful, her kiss very sweet. But there is a 50/50 chance that she will drown you with it so . . . eh, you make your own decisions there.
We fully expect Capitan Saris to be up and shooting her guns by tomorrow morning. So if you have shirked any duties in the interim, you should probably get it all done tonight before you are thrown to the harpies in the morning.
¡Dios mio! We still need to deal with the harpies . . .